#1 tip to build resilience

Your mom likely told you to count to ten before answering or acting emotionally. She was onto something...

#1 tip to build resilience
Resilience starts with counting to 10. Photo by Crissy Jarvis / Unsplash

Becoming present is the foundation of resilience. What's an easy way to choose to be present in a tough situation? Count to 10! By choosing to count to 10, you are letting your prehistoric brain know:

"Dude, you're not in control here, I am."

Default behaviour - your brain just reacts

Sounds familiar...

  1. Someone "makes" you angry.
  2. You react emotionally by saying or doing something you shouldn't.
  3. You spend time obsessing about impact.
  4. You may or may not have the critical conversation to clear this situation up.
  5. Your emotional reaction can become the lens other people see you through.
  6. Yuck!

New behaviour - you control your brain

And now let's count to 10

  1. Someone says something and you become angry.
  2. You notice the signs of you getting angry and you count to 10.
  3. Your state of presence (you know you're getting angry but you are choosing to count to 10) gives your brain a break.
  4. You let go of the anger or repeat step 2.
  5. Life goes on.
  6. Yay you!

Practice this awareness often during the coming weeks. Repetitions will build and over time, your capacity to manage your inner state and choose your reactions will be your strong foundation for resilience.