What would Francois say?

Would old me be proud of new me?

What would Francois say?
Photo by Philippe Bout / Unsplash

One of my oldest friends, from CEGEP days is a content creator on YouTube. They are wildly successful. The kind of creative person who wakes up late-morning, rolls out of bed with fantastic hair, smooth skin and inspiration for days. They don’t agonize over what they’ll create today, they have a colour coded content plan mapped out for months. They don’t stress about the stuff you and I worry about.

I would hate said friend if they were not so thoughtful and kind. I quote from a text they sent me:

“You know, the Francois from our college days would be so proud of the life you created for him”.

Mon dieu. After I collected myself and stopped crying like I was on a reality TV show, I thanked them for the thoughtful note and asked them to sign up for my newsletter. I mean, I’ve got to get to 100 subscribers by March 31st after all. No, I didn’t say that (but you really should click on that orange “subscribe” button). Instead, I started thinking about that Francois from college, what his dreams were and whether or not he would be proud of that life I curated for him.

I’m not sure I’m ready to share where my mind went. I’m not there yet. I need to find a way to quiet the different voices in my head, shouting at me that I shouldn’t be revisiting the past, that I am not good enough to express my thoughts online, and that my perspective is not worth exploring. I’m told every creative type has those voices (well, except for my annoying, insightful and kind friend in Montreal, they are not human).

Do you have those voices too?

Have you had the courage to imagine those voices as tiny little rodents, small enough to grab them by their horrible little tails and trap them in a mason jar where they can’t be heard while you are trying to type a blog post for your newly started website? Just a random example, nothing more…

So yeah, re-joining Social Media is going well. Air Canada flight number 3 is departing for Tokyo in an hour, see you soon. Maybe after my 10-hour flight I will be ready to talk about college-day Francois.